There are so many deleted characters beneath these words, behind this sentence.
I don’t know quite how to start this, but I have the feeling that I need to. I’ve been on a bit of a journey, these past ten months, in search of some solace. What set me on this path was the experience of a huge, life-altering, destabilizing event. The specifics of it aren’t relevant in this space, because what I’ve become alert to, more recently, is just how many of us are struggling these days. Some of these struggles might be more commonly experienced, and those that face them may have an easier time finding community and sharing strategies for getting through. Some may have run into more unique situations that are not widely shared, and find their experiences isolating and alienating. Others may not have had a major personal disruption but might be feeling the general malaise of post-pandemic existence combined with ever-increasing global conflict, horrendous tragedies and general doom looming too large wherever they look. Wherever you find yourself on this wide spectrum of experience, you are welcome here.
My plan is that each week I will share one strategy that has helped me to keep going this past year. My hope is that if it is something that has helped me, it might help someone else too. I can’t promise you anything groundbreaking. Indeed, most of these things might seem obvious, but in my experience, when you are facing a significant struggle, the obvious is often elusive. (It was my Montreal yoga teacher, Clearlight Gerald, who first introduced me to the idea of the ‘elusive obvious’ and I’ve been a bit obsessed with it ever since. More about that in a future post.) None of this is intended as a substitute for professional help. In fact, professional help has been one of my strategies, so more on that to come too.
So, my intention is this: one strategy a week, and maybe some links if it seems fitting.
Quick disclaimer: I’ve been enjoying Substack as a reader for quite some time, but am new to it from the writer side of things, so please bear with me while I make some tweaks and find my footing. I’m going to try to find a setting that avoids bombarding you with requests to subscribe after each paragraph but if that is happening please know there’s no pressure coming from me. Drop in as you please. I’m always happy to see you.
Here is my first strategy: Write.
I actually had a different first strategy planned out, but as I laboured to find the right words for my first post, to the point where I was about to give up before I had even begun, I had to remind myself that writing will help. Writing will always help. I have always looked to words to help me make sense of things, both in the form of writing and of course also in the form of reading (yet another post to look forward to!)
But I am talking about a specific kind of writing here. Whatever you like to call it, a journal or a diary or any other name for writing that is first and foremost only for you. There are a few ways in which this kind of writing (I guess I think of it as journaling) helps me keep going. Things that didn’t seem obvious before I wrote them down often seem illuminated on the page. Without fail, writing brings a sense of clarity and a sense of calm, even if it is just ten minutes scrawled out on a scrap piece of paper on a lunch break. Writing, I have found, this past year in particular, can be especially helpful in releasing worries that feel trapped in your mind. Once you have written them down on paper you can set them aside. It always manages to offer some respite from swirling thoughts, even if only temporarily. If sleep is a challenge, this can be an useful bedtime exercise. Give yourself ten minutes, and dump out everything that is weighing you down in a notebook. (This will be extra effective if you can manage to avoid picking up your phone again after you’ve done this and filling up your brain with fresh worries as you start scrolling again.)
In addition to journaling, I think that a correspondence with a trusted friend or relative can serve this purpose too. It just occurred to me that is maybe that’s what I’m looking for here on Substack. I hope you’ll write back with your own strategies.
Thanks for making it this far. If you like links, keep going!
Of course you don’t need anything fancy to write, but if you’re anything like me, you might want a special notebook and a favourite pen. Two years ago, I got sucked into what I jokingly refer to as the cult of the Traveler’s Notebook and now my favourite notebook to carry with me is their minimalist notebook refill 001. I was introduced to my latest favourite pen in Quebec City in October. Friends, it glides. (Not the pen in the picture below. That is a nice one too, though.)
Sometimes, I need a little extra motivation to write regularly, so I do something like start a new project and promise to produce a weekly post (!). Or, I join an online writing workshop. I think that writing teachers are much like counsellors/therapists in that you have the find the right one for you, but I’ll recommend two of my favourites in case they might be the right ones for you too. Last summer, I joined my brilliant friend Abby’s Secret Summer Writing School. That’s all done for this year, but you can find out more about her wonderful writing classes here. I heartily recommend her beautiful newsletter People + Bodies as well!
I’ve also done a couple of Beth Kempton’s Seasonal Writing Sanctuaries. Her free Winter Writing Sanctuary is coming up at the end of the month and I think I might join again. She has a very gentle, encouraging manner and an incredibly soothing voice. She is also on Substack: This is It.
I was going to share some of my favourite writing books too, but this post already seems much too long. Feel free to reach out if you’d like me to send some your way.
Let’s keep going.
Sending love,
Rebecca